Jan's New Book

Sex...why we can't get enough, until we come home to love
There isn't enough sex to satisfy our need for love. But we keep trying to make it enough; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody.

Somebody gets us! And that's the love we want ... but the boundaries automatically go up again. We're left wanting. And we Band-aid our dissonance, until it drives us to heal our wounds. Then we can share our nakedness as the best of who we are, to know authentic love--with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute. Other Books Available Now

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Jan’s Latest Post

Can you simplify your complex relationship?

There was a time when one partner brought home the proverbial bacon for the other one to fry. Now, it seems each partner is expected to deliver the bacon, analyze its nutritional value, and serve it in a healthy recipe with a French name.

Marriage used to be a partnership in survival of the species—read: nurturing and providing for a family—because that’s what life was about. Life is about much more now. Or is it? We have moved from meeting our basic needs for food and shelter at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, only to get stuck at self-esteem.

We postpone a family and work for a promotion. We save to provide “higher” education for our kids—after giving them 12 years full of extracurricular activities. And maybe we get a second home to vacation, and work, in. We can’t seem to accomplish or acquire enough to feel good about ourselves.

Nonetheless, life is more complex. We have time for more than gathering, eating, and sleeping. And we are inundated with options. Some of us work harder, some hurry home to sit in front of the TV, some get dressed up to be entertained. Some of us fill every moment, thinking we can have it all.… More