Jan's New Book

Sex...why we can't get enough, until we come home to love
There isn't enough sex to satisfy our need for love. But we keep trying to make it enough; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody.

Somebody gets us! And that's the love we want ... but the boundaries automatically go up again. We're left wanting. And we Band-aid our dissonance, until it drives us to heal our wounds. Then we can share our nakedness as the best of who we are, to know authentic love--with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute. Other Books Available Now

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Jan’s Latest Post

Women DON’T Want a Fraidy Cat!

Men — and even women — have struggled for centuries to figure out what women want. It’s easier to tell you what they DON’T want!

Women don’t want a fraidy cat. And the rest is up for grabs — it depends on the woman and her preferences. I know … that’s an unsophisticated response to Freud’s: “Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer … the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?”

Stay with me, though. If a man’s not afraid, he’s not intimidated by a woman’s intelligence. He appreciates her intuition. He’s not threatened by her emotions, however cyclical; and he’s not embarrassed by his own. He’s strong and vulnerable. He’s true to himself … and that means, according to Shakespeare, he’s true to her.

I could probably rest my case now, but I have another 450 words.

You’ve probably heard how not being afraid of rejection works when you’re selling life insurance. There’s an old story about a man who was offered one dollar for every “no” he got. With nothing to lose and a dollar to gain, he fearlessly approached prospects. Consequently, he got rich.… More

God, the scientist, artist, mystic, creator …

Some people live as though life is a scientific coincidence or accident. I believe in science. I believe God to be a scientist. I also believe Him to be a masterful artist and a mystic, the creator and the force behind everything good. I believe God to be love.

Life without that belief is empty, at least emptier than I want my life to be. You could argue (and I have) that I believe because I want to, because I can’t bear the thought of an empty or accidental existence. But I have evidence. It is both everywhere and nowhere, tangible and intangible. Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life — one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

This morning as I jogged, I got caught in the rain … and loved it! I raised my arms in surrender to the heavens; and rather than feeling like a prisoner, I felt like a freed bird!

The forces of nature are the forces of God. Dare to run with them. Dance with them. Sing with them. Cry with them. Be still with them. And they will make a believer of you!… More